Colossians 1:16 & 17 “For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities: all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Well hello there.

Has it really been over 6 months?  I'd like to suggest that I haven't been inspired to write, but that wouldn't be true. There are likely several blog posts all bottled up in my head dying to come out, but, I've been keeping a lid on it largely due impart to the fact that we are now homeschooling 2 children full time this year.  Finding time or inspiration to put coherent words together just hasn't been happenin'. 

 I do realize there are numerous reactions that follow such a statement...

Some of you might look at me like I've got 5 heads.  With much dramatic effect you might say to yourself, "Oh, they're "hooomeschooooolerrrrrs"."

Some of you probably think we hate the public school system, or that we think it's not "good" enough for our children.

Some of you probably think we're doing our children a disservice because they aren't getting the "school experience", or that they aren't going to acquire any "social skills." (This one specifically is my favorite:)

Or, less of you may be thinking, "Wow, I totally get where they're coming from."

I originally started this blog,  once we moved away from the majority of our friends and family over 5 years ago, to try and keep everyone in the loop .  The blog then turned into a way to keep up with Nolan and his developmental challenges, surgeries, and our heartbreak.  And now, here we are, raising kids.  

Kids.

Not babies.

It's a phase I'd really always looked forward to as we began our family.

Will the sleepless nights ever end?

Will they ever be all potty trained?  

Will we ever be able to stay out later than 7pm because a little one needs to go to bed?

So here we are, 8, 6, and almost (gasp) 5. 
 School-agers.  
Faced with what to do about their education.    What is best for them, Aubrey and Adelynne (Nolan's education is a whole other very large sticky ball of wax that needs it's own blog post or 2)?

In all honesty, someone's reaction to our decision to home school is not really a concern of mine.  However, it is now such a big part of our lives, I would be completely remiss if I didn't describe what God is doing and maybe some of the reasons we came to this decision.

Most of you know, Brandon is a public school teacher, in a GREAT school system.  He loves his job, his administrators, co-workers, and what he does.  He counts it a real blessing to be able to do something he's passionate about every day.  Some often ask when I mention we home school, "Oh, you must live in a bad school district?"  Actually, no, we live in a great school district.  Plainfield Schools are top notch, and the kiddos would receive a great education there.  

But, when it came to education for our kids, it wasn't just about e.d.u.c.a.t.i.o.n.  For Brandon and I, outside influences and exposures are very important.  We do not want to "shelter" our kids necessarily  but, we would like to delay exposure to some things.  For us, especially when we think about our girls, protecting their innocence is important to us.  Kids grow up too fast, and are exposed to things so quickly, and we expect them to deal with adult issues at such a young age.  We're trying to protect that.  For how long you ask?  I don't know the answer to that. For now, I'm teaching 2nd grade and kindergarten. 

When children enter kindergarten, they enter the school where their primary influence 8 hours a day, 5 days a week are those of their teachers and peers. For us, we wanted to be those influences.

Proverbs 22:6 
 "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it."

This is all we are trying to do.  

I must digress for a moment and state that I know and understand that all family dynamics are different. What is right for our family is not necessarily right for another.  I am in no way trying to impose our decision on anyone else or thinking for a moment that we are right and others are wrong.  I have wonderful godly friends who home school, choose private school, and who choose public school.  I love that we are able to choose how we want to educate our kids. 

  Truly, my purpose is to just share what's God's laid on our hearts.

Someone asked me today, "So, do you see any benefits of homeschooling?"  

Well, since he asked, I'll share them with you.

I'm able to, currently, start each day with both girls in God's word.  Could we do that before or after school?  Sure.  But, we don't have to rush, we can talk freely, and we can pray together without time limits or time restraints.

I get to be a part of their learning! Watching Adelynne learn to read and remembering that God has allowed me this experience, wow!  I know that when I'm chasing my grand kids someday, I'll always remember.

Each time there is conflict, I get to resolve it with them...nurturing and teaching them about what God's word says about love, respect, being a peacemaker, putting others first...I mean, the list goes on and on.

Bottom line, I get to be front and center to their learning, as in education, and learning as in learning about life.  Amazing!

This truly is just the tip of the iceberg.  I could write a book about the changes we've seen in Aubrey (8).

Yes, there are benefits to homeschooling.

I won't lie, some days, most actually, that I'm just really tired.

Some days, I battle Aubrey's will...ALL DAY!

Some days, once Nolan is home from preschool, I have to let him make big messes so that I can work with the girls.

Some days I feel like there is not enough of me to go around.

Some days I feel like I can't do another day.

But then God gives moments of complete and utter clarity where I.KNOW.I.AM.IN.THE.EXACT.RIGHT.PLACE.AT.THE.EXACT.RIGHT.TIME.


I love it when the Lord affirms a decision.  

I should also mention...

Most days, my house is a mess.

Most days, the laundry is never done.

Most days, I take a power nap.

Most days, I couldn't tell you the last time I've mopped the kitchen floor.

Most days are pretty full.

But, most days, I feel compelled to say, "If I can do it, anyone can."


The last 6 months I've been trapped in a sea of papers, 2nd grade math, and kindergarten phonics, and I can honestly say, there's no place I'd rather be.






Thursday, August 23, 2012

"Mom...can you keep a secret?"

I find that I must brace myself most of the time when a conversation begins with, "Mom, can you keep a secret"? Of course Aubrey, what's on your mind?  "Well, sometimes I find that when I'm doing something fun...well, I forget about Jesus."

She told me this secret after she'd sang for me the song that she "wrote" about not fitting in with her family because she always seems to choose sin.  You know fit "in" and "sin" rhyme.  I'd planned on running to the bathroom to wash my face and put my pj's on when I walked by the girls' room and they were both lost in a stack of books (Aubrey in her Bible).  I went in just to check on them and tell them I'd be back in a few minutes to read with them when out came the bombshell.  

As I looked at her, with anxiety on her face, and wet eyes, I asked Adelynne if she'd go to the living room to give Aubrey and I a few minutes alone.  I sat down in front of her, looked in her face, and in that moment, I became extremely aware this little girl is just like me...and not necessarily in positive ways.  I battle, for a lack of a better term, demons, I fight the darkness of depression, I "think" way too much, and because of my many insecurities, I am a perfect target for satan.  She's 7 and she battles like I do.  Oh dear Lord.

I hurt, very deeply, in that moment that she would think, let alone say aloud, that she felt like she didn't fit in our family.  My precious, red headed first born, a girl I love more than I could have ever imagined ...oh how my heart hurt in that moment.

I shared with her how I very often feel like I don't really "fit" anywhere either.  I shared that Jesus, I can imagine, never felt like he fit either when he walked the earth.  If there is anyone who understands how it feels to not fit sweet girl, it's Jesus.  We talked about how God doesn't want us to be perfect because we then wouldn't have a need for him.  We talked about how God knew He would put her in our family long before she was...how he knit her perfectly for Brandon and I...a piece of a 5-piece- puzzle that wouldn't be complete without her.

The last few weeks of getting our feet wet as a trio in a home school routine, has done a number on me emotionally.  I see now that I've been trying to do it on my own. I've been battling through, with some minimal results with Aubrey in the areas of attention and focus.  I've been feeling like maybe I'm not right for her, I can't seem to "make her tick" when it comes to school (primarily math).  Satan has definitely been using these times of insecurity to make me question God's conviction and calling, for both Brandon and I,  to home school.

As I was talking with Aubrey, crying with her, I realize that God was turning the mirror around for me to look at myself...The words I was using to encourage and reassure her, were the words the Lord was trying to speak to me. Spiritual warfare knows no prejudice.  Satan is using the bumps in the road to make me question God's purpose and plan for our family, and he's using Aubrey's tender heart who's struggling to chose right to question her fit within her family.

I grabbed her Bible and underlined for her Jeremiah 29:11-13

 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."


When you're done reading this, would you pray for this sweet girl...for peace within her heart, a heart that wants to do right but finds itself in a constant battle with will.  

Aubrey, He has a plan for you darling girl.  Be broken over your sin, as you are...don't let satan turn that into a lie.  His plan is a bright future with many blessings if you seek him with all your heart.  This doesn't mean perfection, rather imperfection held by his grace.
Love,
Mommy


Wednesday, August 1, 2012

When your strength runs out

About a month ago, our pastor asked Brandon and I if we would be willing to share our story about Nolan during a Sunday service.  He'd been going through Isaiah 40, preaching on what to do with suffering..."Looking Upward to go Onward."  As I checked the calendar to make sure we would be around that Sunday, I realized Brandon would still be in the Dominican Republic.  I prayed about it, and felt that the Lord must be orchestrating this opportunity, even though Brandon couldn't be present.  So, I agreed.

I am a very wordy and chatty person, but, being in front of a group is not my calling.  I'm much more comfortable hiding behind a computer screen;)  The thought of speaking in front of a congregation about something so personal and emotional was not something I took lightly.  It was way out of my comfort zone (especially since Brandon wasn't going to be there), and not something I ever hope to do again, but, I know that the Lord must have wanted me to do it.

It was an amazing and powerful sermon series, and I hope maybe those that are reading this will go back and listen to all of them.

A dear friend, Jason, who has early onset Parkinson's disease, also shared his testimony.   What an encouragement and inspiration from the Lord he is.  We're so grateful to call his family our friends.

This audio recording has Pastor Curt's brief message, our testimony, and then Jason's.  I promise you'll be blessed by these 2 amazing men.

http://ebethesda.org/sermons#!/swx/pp/media_archives/110193/episode/32979?play=1

Monday, June 25, 2012

Summertime

 Nice face Nolie...
 Father's Day 2012
 Aubrey lynne

 Adelynne and Nolan enjoying a push pop...
 Loving a dilly bar...
 Drinking from the hose...
 Freckled little baby girl...
 Training wheels are coming off...
Swimming...
 Splash Island...

And just think...it's not even July yet.

It's break time

Ever felt the Lord nudge you gently?  Ever felt the Lord nudge you gently for a long time?  Ever felt the Lord stop nudging gently and give you a good thwacking?

For some time now, I've been feeling guilty about the amount of time I spend on facebook.  On occasion, Brandon will tease me about it, and I play it off.  I think to myself, this is my one little escape...I don't drink, do drugs, or have any dependencies, is it really that big of a deal that I spend some time on facebook?  I could certainly be doing a lot worse.  When I begin to really dig deep, and really evaluate myself, I use facebook as an escape, a little time waster, as an outlet.  While none of these things, in and of themselves, are bad or harmful, they can distract.  I find the older I get, the more easily I can become distracted...distracted from housework, distracted from other things I should be doing, I'm ashamed to say even distracted from fully enjoying my kids at times.

I'm temporarily taking a break from facebook...who knows, maybe even a permanent one.  Don't take this post as a condemnation of facebook.  I don't think there is anything wrong with facebook.  This post rather, is a confession that I've allowed it to overtake my life at times.  Hey, the first step is fixing something is to admit you have a problem, right?

I plan to spend more time meditating on how the Lord is speaking to me.  I plan to take more time to read my Bible other than just daily devotions.  I plan to take more time being deliberate in how I can love Brandon more and serve him better.  I plan to take more time to think and blog.

I'm taking the nudges and I'm making a purposeful decision to remove this distraction the Lord is convicting me of.  Who knows, maybe through this the Lord will reveal more?

Please feel free to email me:  bmpaschal@gmail.com

1 Corinthians 7:35 "I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."

Friday, May 25, 2012

A love letter

The "your turn" section of my devotion today read...
Write a love note to God. List at least 10 reasons why you love Him.


Dear God,
The #1 reason I love you is because you loved me first.  I know, a little cliche, but, seriously, when I think about how you gave up Jesus, knowing he would be tortured and killed...for me...man I am so undeserving. #2 I love you because each and every time I fail, which if we're being honest is ALL THE TIME, you still love me.  Not just love me, but forgive, without question, each.and.every.single.time.  #3 I love you because even in my undeserving state, you created for me, Brandon.  I still don't feel deserving of someone who is imperfect, yet, completely perfect for me.  Thank you.  #4  Thank you that each morning, I wake with a clean slate.  "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his mercies never fail.  They are new every morning, great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23  #5  I am thankful for your creation that I can enjoy each day if I chose to do so.  I love the green landscape, I love the flowers, I love seeing my kids play in your creation, I love a warm breezy day, I also love sleeping during rain.  I love your creation.  #6  I love how you continually surprise me with your provision.  Great examples of this are how you moved us to Plainfield when you did, getting Brandon out of retail, providing resources for Nolan, providing us a support with family and friends, how you continually provide for us financially when many would tell me to go back to work. Thank you for confirming by your provision, that your heart is for a mother at home.   #7  I love you for loaning Aubrey, Adelynne and Nolan to me for whatever time period you see fit.  They are life's greatest blessing and I feel undeserving to be there mommy.  #8  I love you because during life's most difficult times, You Alone provide inner peace that is literally indescribable.  #9  I love you because of Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope and a future."  


You are good, you are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love 
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light 
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin

You God, are good, even when I don't understand.

#10 I love you God, again for loving me.  I love you God for filling the emptiness I tried to fill with other things that never even came close.  I love you God for healing my hurts.  I love you God for being my friend when life sometimes feels lonely.  I love you God because YOU are God and YOU are GOOD.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

We're thankful for great friends

1 Peter 2:8-10  "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.  Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.  Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."

Brandon and I, in our almost 10 years of marriage, have always been in awe with how the Lord provides.  We've always been amazed at how He provides through the love and care of other people.  It doesn't always mean financial provision, but, when I sit back and list all the ways God has provided financially, I'm always amazed to tears.



For the most part, I've been open about how Nolan's diagnosis of Williams Syndrome, and everlasting list of specialists and appointments that are a regular occurance for him has affected us financially.  2 years ago, you would have found me in a panic attack over the laundry list of medical expenses that had come in, and in my mind I'd given up and was mentioning bankruptcy to Brandon.  In a matter of months, we'd racked up nearly $15,000 of out of pocket medical expenses (His cranial reconstruction alone was worth $200,000).  I don't throw the number out to shock or garner pity, but, rather, to declare the Lord's goodness that we are almost, nearly, medical debt free.... on a teachers salary folks!  By God's grace, this is possible by #1 My incredibly hard working husband, and #2 By God moving in the hearts of others.   I must also admit that while I was ready to toss in the towel, Brandon said, "No way, I'll work 7 days a week, 24 hours a day before we do that."  Not too long after that, the Lord provided the funds and opportunity to purchase our mowing business.  He's also moved in the hearts of others to help out.  And mostly, He's proven Himself faithful in that while we've been digging out of a hole, we've also never gone without necessities.  We've never gone without food, we've never gone without heat or AC, we've never gone without water or our home.  While it's been extremely tight with no wiggle room for much else, we're incredibly grateful and thankful.  Sorry, I'm rambling...

1 Peter 5:7  "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

This is Jess....

One more recent way we're seeing the Lord provide is through a very precious friend.  We've only been friends going on a few months now, but, in some ways I feel as though I've known her all my life.  Her name is Jess, and she is a Lia Sophia jewelry consultant.  She's also madly in love with Nolan. :)  She came to me with an idea about a week ago and has taken off with it.  She is holding an almost month long jewelry party (via the web) on behalf of Nolan.  She and her husband, Nate, have a strong desire to help raise awareness for Williams Syndrome through Nolan's story.  She is also offering to donate 100% of her sales commission from this party to Nolan's past, present, and future medical expenses.  It's so hard to verbalize how grateful we are to people who are so generous and loving to our family.

This Saturday May 5th through May 13th is Williams Syndrome Awareness Week.  Below is how you can browse the jewelry and place an order.



 To place an order, please visit www.liasophia.com/jessmiller then click "Browse Our Jewelry". Simply type in "Megan Paschal" as the hostess, and browse the catalog & place your order. Questions may be directed to Jess Miller via facebook, email (flowers.jess@gmail.com) or phone (317-828-4165).


Saying thank you just doesn't seem enough, but, thank you.  To God be ALL GLORY for the great things He has done!


"For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends."-Ralph Waldo Emerson